I had a really fantastic birth. I had a feeling it wouldn’t be terribly long, as my mom had quick labors (but of course there were no guarantees!), but it was super quick! Leave it to me to make the telling of it four pages long…
We went out to dinner on Sunday night (August 11th- the actual Estimate Due Date) at Pasta Moon in Half Moon Bay, in an attempt to get in another nice meal out while it was just the two of us, and I had my typical lasagna (full order so I could eat half and have the other half for lunch the next day), and got the cheesecake to go J At home, I had some of the cheesecake and we put something on the TV (I can’t remember what it was now). I started to feel crampy (like bad period cramps I had back in high school) around 10:00pm, maybe? I kept feeling like I had to sit on the toilet. It wasn’t fun, but wasn’t really labor, either. I kept getting up and sitting on the toilet with these waves of cramps. At around midnight, I sent James and Ruby to the guest room to sleep, and tried to get some rest when I felt less crampy. I had a thing about wanting to watch The Office during early labor, and so I put it on and dozed. I woke up with stronger “cramps,” and then listened to myself work through them and realized I was working through contractions, ha! As I lay there, I heard myself moaning and realized there was a start and stop to the moaning, and therefore to the sensations, and if I had heard a doula client making these noises, I would have thought things were really moving! I had told James that I would let him know when I had actual contractions, but I had no concept of frequency at this point, so I opened up the app on my phone and timed a few. It turned out that they were all over a minute long and about 2-4 mins apart, so I went to wake up James. At this point, it was just after 1:00am. I didn’t feel like I needed him to do anything, but was like, hmm, this is a super active labor pattern. James reminded me that Michelle (our midwife) wanted us to call when I had a pattern like this. Of course, I knew this, but it was so different to be in it myself. And it was such a short time of being at this pattern. So James called Michelle (at 1:18am) and put on speaker phone, and dutifully went to make the bed with the waterproof cover, and the sheets in the right order, as that was his job! I had gone to sit on the toilet again while I was talking to Michelle. I told her what my contractions were looking like, but I was worried I wasn’t far enough along yet for her to come since it was so little time. Then, with the next contraction, she heard me make a grunty (pushing) noise. She said, “I’m getting dressed and coming now. I’ll call Sue (the second licensed midwife), and she may get there before me since she’s closer.” I called my doula Nicole (1:20am), told her Michelle was on her way, and she said she’d come right away and would call the birth photographer, Kim, as well. I had a moment of sitting on the toilet thinking about how the heck I was going to get up, whether I would make it back to my bedroom (since I was in the main bathroom, not the master). My next contraction came and I felt a LOT of pressure. I had a tiny moment of panic, but then I felt a huge downward gush! What a crazy feeling to feel my waters release (and I was so glad I was still on the toilet!). For some reason, I had the thought to look at my phone for the time (which I usually do as a doula), and it was 1:24am. I texted Michelle: “water broke.” She called back and calmly asked me to reach a finger to feel inside to feel how close the baby’s head was, and luckily, I couldn’t feel it at all, even way up there, so I knew I likely had some time, thank goodness 😊 Still in a very calm voice, Michelle asked if I was still on the toilet, and if I thought I might want to get into a less gravity-positive position, haha!
James was just finishing with the sheets, and I called him in to the bathroom to help me make my way to the bedroom. I got to my bed on all fours and was bearing down involuntarily with contractions. We put towels under me. I don’t remember when the heck I had taken off all my clothes, but I guess I got hot! Nicole arrived, and I asked for my butt to be covered with a towel (even though I knew it was a little bit silly and nobody there cared, but I did for some reason). Nicole asked if she could peek during contractions, and I told her she could. She could see a little bit of baby’s head with pushes (but went back in in between). She had James call Michelle, and we were on speaker again. At some point, I had become very loudly vocal, yelling with each surge that brought involuntary pushing. In between surges, I heard Michelle saying that she and Sue were both on their way, and that they would probably get there before baby, but that she felt the duty to offer to call Emergency Medical Services. Did I want that? No!! While I wasn’t looking to have an unassisted birth, I knew everyone was on their way, and I was pretty sure that baby wasn’t busting out quite so soon. Timing is all a little blurry to me, but Sue soon arrived, which was reassuring (probably to Nicole and James, too). It became clear that baby wasn’t rushing, and I really just went with what my body was doing (what choice did I have anyway? Just ride the waves).
Michelle arrived a few minutes later, which was another relief. Kim, our photographer, arrived at some point and got to work right away. I hadn’t seen Kate (Michelle’s apprentice) arrive, but I heard her voice giving reassuring guidance from behind me, and I felt a wave of safety and comfort. Everyone who was meant to be there had arrived!
I felt like my legs weren’t very steady underneath me anymore, and I decided to turn to my side. I started to realize this baby wasn’t flying out, and I really was going to have to push hard, ha. I was reaching up to the headboard and pulling for leverage with one hand, and roaring during each push. At some point, my midwife mentioned that I would probably have a sore throat the next day, but it was OK to make noise. I felt like I didn’t have a choice- it was just what my body needed to do. I knew I was really loud, but I felt like I couldn’t help it (and yes, my throat was sore the next day). Thinking back, this was one of the many reasons I was glad I wasn’t at the hospital. I know they would have told me to hold my breath during pushes, and to put the energy behind the pushes. That would have pissed me off, and I would have felt like I was doing it wrong. My team encouraged me, gently cheering me on, while also letting me know it was OK to push harder. While laying there in between pushes, almost on my back (completely of my own doing), I apologized to everyone that this was taking so long. They appropriately chuckled, as this was clearly a fast labor and a totally acceptable second stage. I went on like this, partly on my side/partly on my back, with my doula holding my leg for support. I had a thought about ending up on my back, and how I didn’t picture this at all. It didn’t feel empowering, even though I was the one who put myself there- nobody even suggested it, and everyone was supporting me in following my body.
As if she could read my mind, Michelle said gently, “you’re doing great and making progress here, and if you’re comfortable, you can keep going here. Are you interested in getting into a more upright position?” I had a moment of clarity in thinking about checking in with clients about changing positions during pushing. I felt like I wanted to change, but couldn’t possibly think of what position to go to, or how I would get there. Michelle suggested standing next to the bed. My team helped me get there. During each push, I would squat down a bit, opening as much as I could, knees pushing against the side of the bed, and pulling on the sheets of the bed. I felt more and more of the baby’s head, stretching me more each time. It was hard to know how much to push to make progress while holding back a bit to try not to tear (if that’s even a thing). I got great encouragement and support from Michelle and Kate. They also provided great physical support to my perineum as baby’s head emerged more and more, which I was so grateful for. As I pulled on the sheets, they came off the corner of the bed and stopped providing resistance. I knew I NEEDED to pull to push. I told the room that there was a rebozo on the chair in the livingroom, and I needed it. I relied on the others to figure out how to give me resistance. Sue stepped up and put it around her body, and stood at the opposite side of the bed, as I had done numerous times for my clients. And as my clients had been concerned, I asked if she was sure. She was. It was just what I needed. I pulled HARD. I think I surprised her a little, but she was so steady for me. (As a side note, the first birth I ever attended as a doula was a home birth with a really similar story, down to pulling on the sheets and the sheets coming down the bed, and me as the doula providing the resistance needed to pull to push. I just love that full circle moment.
The stretching was amazing. With each push, I had little thoughts of doubt, of concern about stretching so much and was this really happening? Was I really going to meet my baby soon? Luckily, the physical sensation that was happening to me was so overwhelming, there was only one thing I could do- keep going. I eventually felt the biggest stretch, and baby’s head was out. And that contraction was over. So I was standing there, with baby’s head out. What a crazy feeling and concept. This baby was between two worlds. I have no concept of how long it was until the next contraction. But the next one came, and I knew baby would be out. Kate and Michelle were behind/below me, and James was next to me, ready to help catch if he could. After the shoulders, baby slid out (as they do). I didn’t know what all went on at the time, but now I know that Kate caught our baby, and Michelle helped keep baby’s arms from flailing to help keep me from tearing. Sue quietly announced that baby had been born at 3:29 and 12 seconds! Very precise. James helped bring baby through my legs and up to my arms. I had asked my team to let me discover on my own the sex of the baby. I held baby in my arms against my belly and realized I couldn’t pull any more. I believe I said aloud, “oh. Short cord.” Michelle instructed James to help me put baby on the bed so I could climb up and meet this little one. As I climbed up, I got to see my little one for the first time. The first thing I said to her was, “everyone was wrong! You’re a girl!” I laid down on the bed and looked at her, touched her. James and I kissed. It was so crazy and so normal that she was here. It’s all a little bit of a blur, the next little bit. We touched our baby, discovered her, held her, kissed her. I don’t remember the order of things, but Michelle told me there was some bleeding, and I told her that if she needed to give Pitocin it was fine. She said she didn’t think we needed to do that yet. I can’t even remember what we actually did. And then, of course, the placenta had to come out. When it was ready, Kate gently pulled it out. Michelle told me that I officially was no longer pregnant. I wasn’t paying attention, but they wrapped it and put it in a zip-top bag, and we got to reposition on the bed in a more comfortable way. The bleeding wasn’t an issue anymore, and we didn’t have to do Pitocin. Once we were settled, our birth team joined our dog Ruby in the living room, giving us space, cooking up some food, and working on charting. Ruby had patiently waited in the living room, calm as can be. Anyone who has met this dog would be surprised by this. But she just rolled with it. James and I held our girl, and marveled at what had just happened and what was. It was a sweet and special time. And time itself was a blur. Our wonderful team brought us fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, and buttered toast. It was delicious! I felt so taken care of. After we had some bonding time, Nicole came in to check on us, and to chat a bit about feeding. We shared with her that our baby was Charlotte Elizabeth, and she loved it. She did as I had done so many times before, and asked if there was anything else she could do for us. I was so appreciative of her support, and told her to please go home to her own baby girl (and big boys)! A bit later, when we were ready, Michelle examined me and gave me the fantastic news that I had no tearing at all! James held Charlotte while I got up to pee, using the peri bottle for the first (and basically last) time. I got myself a fancy adult diaper, and got back into bed. Kate administered the newborn exam, and Charlotte was wonderful. The only slight issue was that, as Nicole had suspected, Michelle said that it looked like Charlotte had a classic tongue tie, and it would probably be a good idea to get it checked and likely revised.
At some point, Sue left, as did Kim. Eventually, Kate and Michelle headed out as well, and we made plans for them to come the following day. Then there were three. We were a new little family. We debated when to call our parents, and James sent his email to work saying actually, he wouldn’t be coming in that day, and he’d see them in a month. We made plans for James to take Ruby to Happy Tails so we could figure out our new life without a nutty dog underfoot for the first week. The sun was coming up, ending our awesome birth journey, and beginning our exciting new one.
Around 10:00pm: cramping
12:45am: realized cramps had become distinct contractions.
12:54am: timed first contraction
1:08am: realized they were more than a minute long, around three minutes apart
1:18am: called Michelle
1:20am: called Nicole
1:24am: SROM
3:29am: Charlotte born
All photos by Kimberly Kamine, Campbell Kamine Photography
